A big step in healing

My friends Bryan and Mark visited last night and helped out with laundry and, you guessed it, my bike. I see these friends the most in the winter, as we enjoy cross country skiing together. Biking and cross country skiing feel like a distant memory. That will change.

Ever since the surgery, one of the biggest challenges I faced was being able to urinate. In the last week, I have been able to urinate and no longer need to catheterize! I have canceled the urodynamic procedure (a diagnostic tool) that would have otherwise been conducted on Monday. It seems like this issue is resolved.

It’s a really big step since I experienced so much emotional anguish over beginning catheterization, and I didn’t know how long it would go for. If you know of somebody who is facing similar challenges around urination and catheterization, I am happy to talk to them. I imagine I would be most helpful to cis men.

I continue to experience urinary tract irritation. It is becoming more mild over time.

Did I write about my appetite problems yet? Over the last two weeks, my appetite has often been very high. Additionally, I have sometimes had a hard time feeling full — I would eat and eat, and couldn’t seem to eat any more, and still feel hungry. It didn’t make sense and it felt distressing. An increased appetite from recovering from surgery makes sense, but I don’t understand this occasional satiety issue. Currently, I usually wake up at night about twice every night very hungry.

I have started work, and I am enjoying living at home. Both are going fine.

At the end of my previous post, I wrote about being more deeply immersed in caring for others. I’ll end this post with a reflection from my friend Matt:

“That you aspire in your new normal to have more vulnerability and intimacy in your daily interactions is compelling—I am aspiring to that, too, and love the idea of a vulnerable, intimacy-infused normal as the goal. Why wait until we are suffering and facing hardship to practice radical belonging together?”