Questions about kidney donation
Before I get to your questions…I’m writing this a few days before my donation, and perhaps you’re curious about what the recovery looks like? Please see this informative article.
1. What do you most hope for in this donation process?
I want to be embodied generosity. I want to feel, understand, and experience my body in a way that is life-giving and full of love.
2. “My biggest question is about lifespan. As someone who takes such good care of themselves, how are you thinking about the shortened lifespan that comes with donating a kidney? Or is this a debunked concern intended to scare others from donating?”
I try to take good care of myself, but I also ask myself what’s really valuable to me. Manifesting the love and generosity I want in the world is critical to my psychological and spiritual well-being. Donating a kidney is an attempt to contribute to that well-being. I will incur a small but non-trivial risk that my lifespan will be shortened: “There is a kidney failure risk increase of 76 in 10,000 from donating a kidney.” I don’t think it’s a debunked concern, but I also don’t think (by my own measure) that the risk is very significant. Studies have shown that kidney donors live longer than the average lifespan, but this is likely due to the selective nature of who is qualified to give a kidney.
3. Are you anticipating grief about losing a body part? Or have you already had any? I understand that here might be mostly mostly elation about saving a life.
I don’t anticipate grief, but it’s a good question.
4. This isn’t a question, but a mentor of mine stated:
“You and Julie discussed at length how donating a kidney is a single act of generosity. Very deep but not very wide. That could be the case, but most of the time it’s not. Most recipients have a circle of family and friends that are affected by their illness. Someone has to drive them back and forth to dialysis. Holidays, vacations, visits are planned around the illness. Your single act of kindness may very well positively affect many people who could be a husband, wife, brothers, sisters, father, mother, friends of the recipient. Dialysis/renal failure affects the whole family”
He makes an excellent point! Additionally, because I have been engaging with many folks about the entire process, I know others are considering donating their kidneys (and more broadly contemplating generosity). To be sure, at this point, I don’t consider myself an advocate of kidney donations. Ask me again a couple months after I have donated!
5. This isn’t a question, either
My dad sent me this video about gender and organ donations in India. In short, it’s primarily women who give, and men who receive! It’s a great example of oppressive patriarchal forces that I’d like to dismantle. If you know about the US numbers with regards to gender and kidney donors and recipients, please let me know.